An Evening In: Business & Pleasure
The shambles of American politics, the lay-off notifications from Linkedin, and the price of pistachio milk are rising. As is my anxiety around work.
I’m suspended between generating new work possibilities and freelance writing. While also managing the internal guilt, shame, and anxiety that ambushes me during times of doubt about “what now?”
Then, living in Paris has changed my perspective on work. The French do work hard - contrary to the media portrayal - but their relationship to work is different. It’s not the epi-center but an activity that supports their livelihood. Living is the general objective.
Back in 2021, within a few months of living here, I began to wander through my mornings lounging at 10 a.m. at my local brasserie. While watching people move through their day, a voice slithered across my neck into my ears: “You should be working.”
I was stuck between embracing the “pleasure” of my new country and believing this moment was somehow a ding against my future success. How was I going to balance all of this?
“It’s not about balance Monica, it’s about harmony.””
My therapist's voice comes through the speaker.
It was a new concept my therapist introduced during my first year in Paris. A time when most of our sessions were me neurotically circling around thoughts of not working hard enough or doing enough.
She repeated it:
“It’s not about balance Monica, it’s about Harmony”.
**
Harmony
the quality of forming a pleasing and consistent whole
the state of agreeing or concord
**
The state of agreeing. The definition rang something in me.
I started researching what defined work. Many of us Americans quantify work by how intense, fast, and long we do it. I would catch myself saying, “Monica you’re not working fast enough”.
Then I paused.
“Why do you keep saying “fast enough”?
It clicked. My measurement tool wasn’t effective. I didn’t know what it really meant to have a good work ethic.
So I opened my computer and typed in…
W O R K E T H I C
Work ethic refers to a set of moral principles and values that guide how a person approaches work. It includes qualities such as dedication, responsibility, professionalism, integrity, discipline, and teamwork
It didn’t say anything about intensity, velocity, or duration.
So, I had to create a new way to measure my work ethic. Now, I measure my work ethic through honesty, effort, integrity, discipline, presence, flexibility – and fun. I’m considering the whole of me.
I've begun incorporating new ways of working into my life that help me focus on harmony.
My New Practice
I usually start my work day sitting and speaking with the gentleman at my local brasserie.
Wednesdays are a mindset reset; reading binges, wandering the city, looking at art, or writing. I notice that I can usually have 2 high-intensity days (meaning full concentration) before I need to cleanse my pallet.
I looooooove working on Friday and Saturday. A definite psychological thinking I’m bringing on from the US workforce – that I’m playing to my benefit. Fridays were always so low-key and dead. It was the perfect environment for me to vibe out and work for 3-4 hours. Then, I’d shut that computer down and go enjoy my life. On Saturdays, I tend to sleep in. I read for the first couple of hours of my day, make a coffee, and then around 11 or 1, I’ll work for 3-4 hours.
I am specific with my task (which I learned from a Holisticism planning course). This improves my concentration and reduces procrastination when I know exactly what the task requires.
I work on an 8-week cycle with 2 weeks off every 6 weeks (this is something I stole from the French school system). (1) This shift is pretty challenging in my current state of pivoting to writing and looking for work. When you’re not working or pulling in enough money, guilt can start to creep around. Yet, I know there is a personal and professional benefit of stepping back and returning refreshed. 1
Impact Of My Work?
I usually can focus for 2-3 hours before needing a break.
I accept that it means I am not moving like the Road Runner — and that’s okay.
I also have to drop comparison, or I will throw myself into a frenzy.
The most important aspect of my work now that is I’m engaged and present. Once I replaced intensity, velocity, and duration with presence and satisfaction, I noticed a shift in how much I enjoyed the process.
I build in a little “business and pleasure” — doing something luxurious for me while I work.
Spring and Summer are perfect for long wind-downs and weekly planning.
Which I decided to vlog.
Come spend an evening with me —
where I unwind and share a beautiful notion template that is worth the watch.
This shift is pretty challenging while I’m building my writing portfolio and looking for consistent work. When you’re not pulling in enough money, guilt can start to creep in. But I know there are personal and professional benefits of stepping back and returning refreshed.
